We're back from Honduras! An interesting thing happened last night...
I was laying in bed scrolling through my pictures kind of editing some of them within my camera and I think I must have started going fast & not really paying attention to what I was doing because, next thing I know, I deleted ALL my pictures.
It was hard. I know it sounds kind of petty but I just started tearing up. I was heartbroken. There I am, holding memories upon memories and the faces of children that I fell in love with and all the sudden *poof* they're gone. It was no fun. It was a struggle. So I lay there for a while praying that God would miraculously restore those pictures. I thought maybe that if I had enough faith He would just put them back in my camera. And if I promised to glorify Him for it, He would have mercy on me. Then, I realized that while it's important to have faith, God's will will be done anyway. I haven't run into God's voice saying "No" very often. But He says it sometimes, and it was particularly hard for me to hear that last night after I got off a trip full of Him saying "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
I'm not trying to make God out to be a bully. He's so far from it. My point is that God's will is better than any will we could think up on our own. He has blessed me by not restoring those pictures in a way that I don't even understand yet.
And in all of this I learned especially how to store up my treasures in heaven. God spoke to me. He met with me. He knew my pain and He healed it with His soft and comforting voice.
While I can't see the faces of the kids anymore. Those pictures were going to burn one day anyway. What will remain is the hearts & souls that I touched just by being a broken vessel.
In the end, the pictures don't matter. It would be nice to have them, sure.
But God had something better for me than a reel of Honduran sceneries & portraits. He has a kingdom that is welcoming them in one-by-one. He has angels rejoicing after names are scribed in the Book of Life.
And that's enough for me.
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2 comments:
The loss of pictures calls for other means to preserve memories of the trip as a memorial to the glory that God showed there. Keep writing about it and bringing the lessons back to daily life- that's the hardest thing of all.
God did amazing things in San Antonio this year. I hope we get to go back and see how these kids have grown in the Lord!
dude that sucks about your pictures it really does. Community I think comes into play right now. Sharing of our blessings. Others have pictures and they can pass them on your way. I mean the early church would not eat untill everyone had food or would divide everything they had. I know your pictures are not life or death but I think we still need to be in community with our brothers and sisters in christ. I think that can be done even with photos and such.
:)
It still sucks about the photos!
shalom
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