Adjectives and Nouns

I appreciate beauty so much. 

A beautiful sunset, a starry night, perfect colours on a perfect canvas, a field of daffodils. I know some of it just sounds petty and ridiculous when I say it but when you're standing in front of any of those things, the word ridiculous is the last that comes to mind. 

Instead words like exquisite, inspiring, ravishing, gorgeous, beautiful come to mind. 

Then, what comes to mind after you say those words? I can't help but think of people. Exquisite reminds me of a picture we have of my mom in a sleek red dress years ago. Inspiring reminds me of the feeling I have when I hear my friend play the harmonica. Ravishing is like those bright blue eyes my younger cousin has. Gorgeous calls to mind a painting Van Gogh did once of a field of cherry blossoms. And those late night conversations with my older sister, well, those are just beautiful. 

So-I was thinking today It's impossible that beauty is relative. There's just no way. And I won't ever let someone tell me that it is because, to me, beauty is truth. When you look into the deep, telling eyes of someone you love and you soak in their beauty, there's a feeling in your heart that you might be able to find truth there. Just like when you're driving home during sunset and you see the sky painted with thin purple clouds outlined with the purest, brightest yellow, almost white-you don't want to take your eyes off of that scene because, deep down, we all seem to think that by looking on something beautiful, eventually truth will be birthed through the exquisitness of it. 

beauty, truth

solid

Last night I had a pretty intense talk with my sister. It wasn't intense in the sense that we cried and laughed and yelled. It was intense in that we talked about stuff that we REALLY wanted to talk about.
I'm so used to the typical conversations I have with my friends. "How was work?" "Good."
"What was the homework for Tuesday?""Who would you vote for?""What are your plans this weekend?"
Last night me & Alex talked about the REAL stuff. The nitty gritty, so to speak.
We talked about how our parent's divorce effected us. About what we think of our parents, about how jealous we are of our friends.
We talked about the 'don't touch' subject in my life. That one boy. I would say his name but stupid girls would gasp. I told her everything that went on between us (stop assuming, I'm not talking about being pregnant). We agreed that one day I should write a novel based on our story and it made me realize that it doesn't have to be a horror thing for me. It can be a cool story and I can leave it at that. She thinks I should write him a letter to make my story cooler. I've tried but I'm just not sure about all that yet.
We talked about what we do and don't like about school. We got to talk about our newfound talents without feeling like stupid people who brag.
We talked about stupid crushes that mean nothing but say everything.
We talked about God a little here and there.She knows I'm in love with Him. I told her about my wonderful church and becoming a member. She thinks it's cool.
We talked about coffee. And how we prefer tea.
We just TALKED.
I wish there were more people in my life who would just TALK. Talk about the stuff that matters. The stuff you don't always want to talk about. Talk about thee stuff that hurts. Talk about stuff that's embarassing. Just TALK.

Relationships aren't build on the playground or at work. Relationships are built over coffee.
Relationships are built when people just TALK.

Unchanging Love

sometimes you fall in love and no one notices
sometimes you lose a tooth and the fairy doesn't show up
sometimes you turn on the lights and the darkness stays
sometimes your hair cut isn't that different
sometimes the trash doesn't get picked up
sometimes nobody hears when you stub your toe


i know that He always notices
He always shows up
He'll bring the light
Nothing will go unseen.

That's why He's my fave.

Lord,

Give me faith.
Give me focus.
Give me passion.
Do Your will

& always remember,

You are my Home.
Home is where the heart is.

Seek His Face

I fear for this world &, most of all, the people in it.

How quick we are to fall in love.
How hungry we are for entertainment.
How STARVING we are for attention.

Mostly, how we hold at such high reguard the things that our Father doesn't esteem.

Money is great but does it really matter?
Hair is pretty but does it REALLY matter?


We're told diamonds are beautiful because they're rare but how much more rare is the heart of a selfless man?

I grieve for us.

On a lighter note, I'll be headed to Bolivia in August to build an orphanage for boys who live in a country that has no room for them. I want them to see that the kingdom our Father built has room for everyone.
Pray for that.

I had a wonderful/interesting/intense/emotional week.
I need prayer.
Period.

Losing Control

I don't really like listening to classical music but I could sit for hours on end watching someone sit at a piano with their fingers gliding over the keys and the invisible memorization of Mozart carrying their arms.

I went recently to Wheaton University to check it out because, it's getting to be that time. Decision time. Anyways, I went to one of Jess Williams' classes and we watched her play a few classical pieces.

At the beginning you can tell that she was focused on what she was doing. Where her fingers were going. Then, eventually, she completely lost herself. If you looked at her fingers and then up at her, you could tell that something else was going on. It was the same with anyone who got up and played. It's as if the music started coming from somewhere else. Like the piano wasn't actually producing any sounds. Or, they weren't even controlling their fingers anymore but it was something deeper.

I wish my faith was like that. I hope my faith is like that.
I hope when people see me serving they don't see that I'M serving them. I hope that they know I don't even know where my hands are going anymore. They see that it comes from somewhere else entirely. They see that I don't control my actions but it's something deep within my spirit that is moving me.

I hope they see that I'm completely lost in the music of His Glory.

Like an Art-Form

The Bible is really inspiring.

I've always looked it as sort of the intellectually charged aspect of my faith but, lately,
I've discovered its many inspirational qualities.

I was planning a children's program last week & then, I'm doing activities for our church's upcoming Woman's Retreat & I've looked in magazines & google, etc etc but the most inspiration I've found came from the Word.

I think that's pretty cool. That's all.

Peace.